I would like to start today’s post with the following quote:
“We teach girls to shrink themselves,
to make themselves smaller.
We say to girls,
‘You can have ambition,
but not too much.
You should aim to be successful,
but not too successful.
Otherwise you will threaten the man.’
Because I am female,
I am expected to aspire to marriage.
I am expected to make my life choices
always keeping in mind that
marriage is the most important.
Now marriage can be a source of
joy and love and mutual support.
But why do we teach to aspire to marriage
and we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors –
not for jobs or for accomplishments,
which I think can be a good thing,
but for the attention of men.
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
in the way that boys are.
Feminist: the person who believes in the social,
political and economic equality of the sexes.”
– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
I think this quote symbolizes what many women, especially Ethiopian women may face and go through in their lives. In Ethiopia, a woman has attained the ultimate success once she has married, had children and starts her own family. Unfortunately this translates into a circumstance where Ethiopian women come to America and teach their daughters that this is the ultimate success. I am not saying that this is what happens in all families. Many families like my own teach their daughters to have ambition, pursue an education and to become powerful women. However, upon graduation day the family begins to ask: “When are you getting married” “When will you make me a grandparent”. Now many of us do in fact want to get married and live that fairy tale dream. However that fairy tale should not come at the expense of reaching a young woman’s goals and aspirations. The man you marry and live out your life with should be someone that you can live out your life goals, without sacrificing your dreams. That person should be your support system and you should be his. It should not be at a cost of losing who you are as an individual. We should always teach our daughters to feel empowered. A man may look good on paper, however he may be pure evil on the inside. Simply put, families should focus on teaching their daughters to feel empowered, to be enough with or without a man. See, when you seek the attention of a man, you will NOT get him. When you focus on YOU, the right HIM will find you. Seek out your goals, live out your life, and when the time is right the right man will come along. Settling should never be an option.
All too often, women settle for a man that gives them attention. A man that buys her things, takes her places and impresses her family. That should not be the case. The value of individual should be what draws you to a man. Material things and a flashy lifestyle are things that could go away tomorrow. You should consider who the person is on the inside. That is what really counts.
I hope that we as a community can change our tone and conversation and recognize that our women are our biggest asset and should be treated with the ultimate respect.
EthiopianAmericanGirl 
I agree with the quote and this post but I do have an additional comment:
I impress my family and I believe the person I choose to be with should equally impress my family, not because he is better than me, but because he is great in his own right. That’s just my two cents. Nice topic choice!
I completely agree! Nice addition….(soon to be guest blogger)!
I agree. Empowering women is great, but in what sense? Spiritually? Yes. Intellectually? Yes. Financially? Ok, but for what purpose? Sexually? God, no.
What I’m trying to say is, western feminism’s version of empowering women is “liberating” them of traditional sexual norms via promiscuity, contraception, abortion, divorce rights, child support, welfare, and other godless principles inspired by the Communist Manifesto, which the white man has shoved down our throats for the past 30 years.
One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever heard is, “black feminism is the white supremacist’s greatest weapon.” The State has used feminism and it’s swapping 0f traditional gender roles to single handedly destroy the nuclear black family; wrecking havoc on the black community which had struggled for so long for it’s dignity and freedom.
Western feminism’s marxist principles has disintegrating family and tradition, and will only destroy our community as well, so we should be very weary as to what we mean when we say, “empowering women”.
The humanity and dignity of our women as images of God should be respected, and the priceless value our mothers, wives, daughters, sisters have to offer should be acknowledged. But that is NOT at the cost of sacrificing the God-given leadership, dominance, intelligence, and decisiveness of MANHOOD.
Whether we like to admit it or not, the reason why most cultures on earth see a woman’s marriage as the ultimate success is because, both spiritually and scientifically speaking, a women’s value is in her sexuality (ability to give birth) whiles a man’s value is in his strength (ability to protect and provide). This does not at all mean women are only good for giving birth, but fertility itself is the grace of womanhood, and the strength itself is the grace of manhood. Which is why the man is expected to provide security in all aspects of life, whiles the woman is expected to nurture and care. I’m speaking in the traditional sense. This is why status and success are valued in men, whiles beauty and virginity are valued in women. It has to do with the womb, which is the greatest gift of womanhood: the ability to bring forth new life.
These are the gender roles which feminism has degraded. I don’t think our people should get rid of these values, simply respect the dignity and humanity of women. Afterall, after His own image did God created Eve to be Adam’s greatest asset in life.
This is what has kept humanity healthy and alive to this day, and the marxist inspired feminist ideology of the west has confused the sexes, unleashing a beast, ultimately leading mankind onto the path of destruction.
I agree. Empowering women is great, but in what sense? Spiritually? Yes. Intellectually? Yes. Financially? Ok, but for what purpose? Sexually? God, no.
What I’m trying to say is, western feminism’s version of empowering women is “liberating” them of traditional sexual norms via promiscuity, contraception, abortion, divorce rights, child support, welfare, and other godless principles inspired by the Communist Manifesto, which the white man has shoved down our throats for the past 30 years.
One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever heard is, “black feminism is the white supremacist’s greatest weapon.” The State has used feminism and it’s swapping 0f traditional gender roles to single handedly destroy the nuclear black family; wrecking havoc on the black community which had struggled for so long for it’s dignity and freedom.
Western feminism’s marxist principles has disintegrating family and tradition, and will only destroy our community as well, so we should be very weary as to what we mean when we say, “empowering women”.
The humanity and dignity of our women as images of God should be respected, and the priceless value our mothers, wives, daughters, sisters have to offer should be acknowledged. But that is NOT at the cost of sacrificing the God-given leadership, dominance, intelligence, and decisiveness of MANHOOD.
Whether we like to admit it or not, the reason why most cultures on earth see a woman’s marriage as the ultimate success is because, both spiritually and scientifically speaking, a women’s value is in her sexuality (ability to give birth) whiles a man’s value is in his strength (ability to protect and provide). This does not at all mean women are only good for giving birth, but fertility itself is the grace of womanhood, and the strength itself is the grace of manhood. Which is why the man is expected to provide security in all aspects of life, whiles the woman is expected to nurture and care. I’m speaking in the traditional sense. This is why status and success are valued in men, whiles beauty and virginity are valued in women. It has to do with the womb, which is the greatest gift of womanhood: the ability to bring forth new life.
These are the gender roles which feminism has degraded. I don’t think our people should get rid of these values, simply respect the dignity and humanity of women. Afterall, after His own image did God created Eve to be Adam’s greatest asset in life.
This is what has kept humanity healthy and alive to this day, and the marxist inspired feminist ideology of the west has confused the sexes, unleashing a beast, ultimately leading mankind onto the path of destruction.