I need to find the person that has been spreading this terrible rumor. Who is she, and what was she thinking. First of all Ethiopian MEN ARE BLACK MEN TOO. It is probably one of the most annoying things to hear when I hear people say “Ethiopian women only date Ethiopian men”. Who is spreading this rumor?
Maybe an Ethiopian Woman was trying to get out of talking to some weirdo that was approaching her and she told him Ethiopian women only date Ethiopian men. Maybe it was her escape out of a bad relationship. Either way the rumor has spread.
Who Knows what the reasons behind it is, but there is a presumption amongst most people that Ethiopian women are stuck up, snooty, think their better than everyone else, and won’t date anyone outside of their culture. In all seriousness, by limiting myself to one ethnicity out of an entire race is stupid. YES, I am open to any man of any race, of any ethnicity, of any cultural background. So long as I am 1. Attracted to him, 2. He treats me with the same respect, dignity, love, and care as my father has given me in my life (I believe a woman’s father sets the standard for her expectations of the man she marries, therefore my standards are pretty high), 3. I need him to support me, not financially but mentally and emotionally, and 4. I need to know that no matter what at the end of the day I’m the last thing on his mind and when the sun rises I’m the first thing he thinks about. I want real love. Love is not embedded in a person’s race, ethnicity, or cultural background. Love is about the persons character, spirit, and soul.
Do I have preferences? Of Course! Every Ethiopian Girl would probably say that ideally she wants to marry an Ethiopian boy. It would make a lot of things about merging lives so much easier. He would already be familiar with my culture, he would automatically love the Ethiopian food, he would understand my fami
ly’s native language, and I wouldn’t have to translate. What Ethiopian American Girl has not day dreamed about a Big Extravagant Ethiopian American Wedding day. But is this realistic? I have my doubts. I’m honestly pessimistic about the whole thing. Maybe I’ll meet Mr.EthipianAmericanboy and we’ll fall in love and live happily ever after. Until then………
So Dear Ethiopian Girl that is walking around saying Ethiopian Women only date Ethiopian Men, stop spreading this terrible rumor / lie, it’s untrue. And if it’s true for yourself, then just say that YOU as an individual person, not the representative of all Ethiopian women, do not date Black men.
Yours Truely,
Just another Ethiopian American Girl.
EthiopianAmericanGirl 
It could also be that men just automatically assume because they heard ONE Ethiopian girl say she only dates Ethiopian guys, that all Ethiopian girls follow this rule. I mean, that’s just how any stereotype goes around. But I think girls who say that are in their own group by themselves….I like to call them FOBS. lol
No. I know several American born Ethiopian girls that prefer to date Ethiopian men.
I stumbled on to this site looking for pictures of Ethiopian wedding and i couldn’t resist reading the blog. First of all, i don’t think you know what stereotype means; for anything to be a stereotype the issue has to be rejected by the majority of the ethnicity or community, in this case Ethiopians.
second, i think you got it the other way round; just because you have these believes doesn’t mean everyone believes the same way.
I am not in anyway advocating or supporting Ethiopian girls to stay in their own race, i am just stating the fact that majority of Ethiopian women do date their own race exclusively. I think you will be more credible if you researched why. I would tell you why but it is not my blog
Hi Thanks for your comment!
The one thing I have enjoyed about writing this blog is reading opinions that differ from my own, or seeing how people may agree with my opinion. This blog is directly related to my own personal experiences and the experiences of those that I grew up around. I am born and raised in the United States, of Ethiopian Parents thus an Ethiopian American in its purest sense. You see I’ve lived a sort of dualism, balancing Ethiopian Culture as well as American Culture. Teetering between both worlds, finding my place comfortably somewhere in between.
Your comment stated I do not know what stereotype means. The stereotype I was discussing is specifically regarding people that come to myself or my friends with the pre conceived notion that we ONLY exclusively date Ethiopian men, which in our cases is not true. I disagree with your definition of stereotype. stereotype means : 1. A conventional, formulaic, and oversimplified conception, opinion, or image.
2. One that is regarded as embodying or conforming to a set image or type.
– the opinion that people have that I am discussing fits snugly into the definitions I posted above.
nonetheless you are probably right. I am sure that there are Ethiopians that do prefer to stay within their own race. I mean the reality is ideally, as I state in the post, dating someone with similar background is my personal preference. I just was discussing the oversimplified preconceived notion that I have faced.
I appreciate your comment and hope you come back to read more/ comment again 🙂
Thank you for your reply. I enjoy these kinds of conversations so thank you again. i think you have a point there with relating your comments to your own surrounding and what you are exposed to. let me declare a common ground and clear up that more and more Ethiopians are actually stepping out of their comfort zone and exploring. In my previous comment i stated that you didn’t know what stereotype meant and attacked your comments on it. by the way thank you for the webster dictionary definition lol. we can go on and on about it but i think you understood what I’m trying to say.
I was simply trying to state the fact that for Ethiopians born and raised in mother land, they are under a cultural influence to stay within the race. Now, it could be because to find background commonality as you stated or because the culture provides a security in longevity of marriages since Ethiopians rarely get divorced or etc… The cushion is some how appealing and is assured by the culture. Since you were born here in America, you are not biased toward one side. you may not even know what I’m talking about but I applaud your stand and thats how it should be! and thanks for clearing up that Ethiopian women’s are not snobby and stuck up. i enjoyed your blog and your conversation. thanks again.
Let me ask you a question, will you marry a man that is not of your race if he treats you EXACTLY like you want a man to treat you? Also what is your views on religion? do you believe that in our case being orthodox Christians that the religion must be regarded when dating someone rather than ethnicity?
sup yonathan, this issue she is talking about is a sterotype because it is in fact REJECTED by many of the conservative ethiopians that walk around beliving that there is no better race or man than an ethiopian. And we all know why ethiopian women date their own race buddy; in a nutshell it has to do with culture and the fact that she is with a man that grew up like her and etc etc. I totally agree with what she is saying because I do not go a day in paranoia that my potential girlfriend will be blindly ridiculed by family members because she is not ethiopian. When it comes to culture I think it is safe to say that I am more of an American than ethiopian simply because I have been raised in the USA since infancy, I have made many multicultural friends and have worked with them as well (I guess its safe to say that I prefer the american culture over ethiopian even though I am proud of my native background) The idea of limiting myself, basically deliberately hardening my heart for other women rather than ethiopians is freaking scary. I hate psycing myself out, I hope I get to enjoy dating women I want rather than being enslaved by what ethiopian culture/society EXPECTS me to do.
yes u were born and raised in america. i was born and raised in ethiopia. and i know as of this moment, marrying someone outside our race is considered ridiculous. do not judge when u dont live here. u cant represent us ethiopians when u didnt even grow up in ethiopia. ud feel different if u were here.
I appreciate your comment. I was simply speaking from the Ethiopian American perspective. I appreciate hearing about the Ethiopian perspective. My blog is not meant to judge by any means. Simply sharing my opinion based upon my experiences.
I think I understand why you are saying this. I was born and raised in Addis ababa. That had given me a chance to raise with and be friend with boys/girls from all parts of the country. So, later, when I was dating, it has never crossed my mind about from which part of the country she is from – didn’t care if is she from north, south, west, east..as long as I am attracted to her. I believe the same analogy works here. Since you are born and raised here, you would have had friends from all countries and you won’t look at them as different.
But, yea, for a guy/gal like me who was born and raised back home… you know it would feel more comfortable to be with ethiopian – I am not saying it should be, just would be!
Just wanted to say – I understand why you are saying this.
Please keep the good job. I found your blog searching specifically for amharic blogs and its kind of good. I will check check you regularly if you have something new.
I also stumbled upon this website looking at pictures of Ethiopian weddings and I don’t necessarily think it’s a rumor. Most Ethio/Eri women do only date and prefer to date Habesha men. This obviously isn’t applicable to every Ethiopian and Eritrean woman but generally this is the “rule” and you’re the “exception” if that makes any sense. It’s just like saying Native American men only date Native American women, does that mean that every single one feels that way? No. But for the most part it’s reasonable to assume that they do. Also, for the most part all African people prefer to date within their own ethnicity, preferring to date within your ethnicity isn’t “stupid” if anything it could be considered progressive.
how can it be progressive when you are not going outside of your ethnic “boundaries”?
It’s not any different than a white man prefer a white women. It’s not because all of them are prejedice. You don’t necessarly have to marry one to proof that you’re or you’re not prejudice. We are loving and respectful people, as so we love african american man as our brothers and fathers and respect their past and current strugel and admire them greatly.
I think for most of us we feel comfortable with people who speak same language, and know our culture and he doesn’t have to feel outsider when family gathering or cultural celebration and holidays.
The last I want to say is we always think one day I’ll go home I’m not planning to retire home, I mean we still send the dead body eventhough it’s expensive we can not afford it. We collect money and shipp it am I write. So it’s something not familiar or change make us insecure and scared as they say instead of unknown angel and known devil is prefered that was an old proverb I’m not sure if I put it correct. i think what I want to say is all continents people from chinese to ….remote Africa, people do what’s familiar even it’s sometimes seen by others strange. Culture….etc…as for me I always pland one day I’ll go home which I’m not sure but just a dream….that is the reason….
@ hewan …. I think u have “said all right” it does not mean it won’t happen but it will be considered exception other wise the whole sense of getting married is to be together in a similar and familiar world culture and custom ..in most case interracial relations are based on a poor and an acceptable reasoning and mostly it is not based on mutual love that is why most do not last
danilotrue@yahoo.com
danitrue, you are gravely mistaken by the whole idea behind interracial dating. The reason interracial dating does not last is because the two partners have not accepted each other’s cultural background wholeheartedly they just dated for fun. When it comes to a serious relationship with someone of a different race many factors that can destroy the marriage would have to be addressed (primarily cultures of the couple) if both couples love each other regardless of where they are from they have also accepted each other’s family and customs AND have no reason to break up. There is no such thing as “poor” or “unreasonable” reasoning when it comes to this matter because it is nothing but emotional and spiritual attraction that put the two couple together, no different than an Ethiopian couple.
I am an American white guy and my girlfriend is from Ethiopia. When my girl told her family that she was with a white guy they didn’t altogether dissaprove, but they weren’t thrilled about it either. They certainly would prefer that she marry an ethiopian guy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But we all have to make our own choices in life. Some in my girlfriend’s family would be much less accepting of our relationship if I were African American. There does seem to be a stigma attached to African Americans with many people who migrate from Ethiopia to the United States. Be open minded. If you love someone then don’t let the people around you pressure you into living your life on their terms. By the same token, if you prefer to only date inside of your own race or culture then that’s ok too. There’s nothing wrong with either choice.
This is a great blog where ppl post how they feel about their surroundings and personal life, I personally born and raised in Ethiopia I can say I leaved long enough in US to know the culture… , my experience with both American and Ethiopian men differs as each individual, yes we do have Strong Culture to the point where we letting it us to affect our life but it all boils down up to the Individual s self-steam and PERSONAL CHOISE . When it comes to trying out of your own race most of us had in the head already this “WHAT IF “instead of enjoying the connection and the love to avoid future fail. We have these fail in the community (misunderstanding, Divorce, Cheating) of course for those who are lucky great Marriage and Family in both world. We are taking a chance when we let strange in our life period, we are willing to blind date or arrange marriage just b/c she/he is from home or some know the family. we witness eight out of ten these marriage fail apart for miscommunication or luck of romance, all I am saying ppl should be judge by who they are not where they from, Skin color or race, we all should be open minded for TRUE LOVE Because when your heart is truly open, you see no color or distinction, just the beauty of life and love
I’m Black American and I have dated Ethiopian women. 99.9% of Black Americans don’t pursue Ethiopian women. Ethiopians are BLACK(Hello)….even though many wish they wasn’t. Many Ethiopian women pursue white men because they think whites have money. Out of all Blacks, Black Americans collectively are the most respected and have the best quality of life. Many Africans respect Arabs and Whites more than they do themselves. Smh. Believe me, most Black Americans don’t have any interest in Ethiopians.
@Black American I don’t think ur comment was relevant with what was saying on the topic ,,,,you sound like you got some hate towrads to Ethiopian women, sorry if you were hurt but you need to get over it and keep it moving…. speek for urslef…u cant represnet every Black men… you sound stupid,folks like this dont need to be heared….. ignorance at it’s best!!!!
Lol. And u are sure you aren’t bitter against Ethiopian women [for not wanting to date you], right? 🙂
Why do you think they just date white men for money ? Men of European descent are very good looking stop sounding jealous. There are women attracted to white, some blacks or Latino men and etc. Stop sounding like a whiny boy and go for women that like you.
You got it comletley wrong!! Or you must be lying to your self. I am an Ethiopian guy, 27. Born and raised in the states.I see a lot of African american men hitting on Ethiopian women, persistently..the majority of the Ethio women are not simply interested, and the one who are interested and let the guys take them out, were not impressed…In contrast I have seen a lot of Ethio women with African guys and White guys in decent relationships…I am not being rude, but African american guys are unreliable, out of culture and have no respect whatssoever….so you gotta be honest here…at least for yourself…
Im an Ethiopian woman ans I love black men.us wanting to marry our own doesnt make us snooty or stuck up, we were just strictly raised to marry within our own culture. However when dating my other Ethiopian girls and I usually want a black tall man. We do not want a relationship with an Ethiopian man till we are ready to settle down.
But what if you fall in love with him? And why would you play games with people’s feelings?
I dont understand this whole idea of being strictly raised to be with a man/woman of our own culture. To me is sounds like you do not have a personal choice because the Ethiopian culture is what seems to dictate the serious choices you make rather than YOU!
Why would you play with some ones heart like that though? And if you love black men why not marry one?
I’m black american and i’ve dated two ethiopian girls in the past. met their families and friends and was always welcomed with open arms. i’ve never detected any kinda hostility or attitude from ethiopians towards aa. in fact i can’t think of a warmer more welcoming people. but i can only speak from my own personal experience.
imo, if you’re a tall good looking guy with his stuff together, in america you won’t have a problem getting with any beautiful woman of any race or ethnicity.
In all honesty a genuine man with an education that has his stuff together should not have a problem with being accepted by the family of his girlfriend no matter where she is from. It is as if the whole ideology behind not being allowed to marry outside of your race is “exaggerated” in a sense
Hello every one I have been with a Eritrean woman for almost three years now. I have not met her older brothers or mother. They have been in the us for only 4 years now. She is horrified about people finding out because of the ridicule she would get from the community.
you have ze 2 choices. ok my friend, u can take her for ze marry and be to live a private life and never meet wiz her family or friends, or you can accept ze life with her no commitment and only for playing games and still be in ze closet. She will never tell everyone about you because ze culture like this ok, if you not habesha you cannot understand. you see we always like to preserve our tradition wis our kids. many of us know our lineage more zan ze 8 generation ok. and we know zat
It’s been almost five years now. I’ve now met one of her cousins Helu her little sister Kisu and her youngest brother Abel. It’s been worth the wait we will make it past all the stereotypes because we love each other and both now understand that we both love Christ our Lord and who ever disagrees or is mad are not lovers of our mighty Lord and must break themselves for the evil of hatred.
I understand that. But nebiat and I are going to change that. We are in love and plan to get married soon. We plan on going to Ethiopia to meet her father soon.
Just as a data point……I’m white British. I am lucky enough to have been loved by a Habesha for 2 years. Some of her (now our) friends date / marry white or other non-Ethiopian black guys. Not one has experienced disapproval from their partner’s friends or family by virtue of skin colour. I too have yet to meet many more welcoming open-minded tolerant races – my personal explanation is that few peoples are as culturally confident and can be as justifiably proud of their national heritage as Ethiopians. And if Ethiopian men are as amazing as partners as their sisters, I would completely understand if Americans and European guys of any skin color didn’t get a look in.
Smile, if you’re in addis!
ETHIOPIA
I know why cultural pressure. I’m dealing with this right now.
Good question: and the answer is yes, 99% of Ethiopians women and men dates, marry or associate exclusively within themselves… I m an historian and writer, studying African history, being in more than 9 African countries, 5 times in Ethiopia… First of all, I see many people on this blog keep referring Ethiopia as a race, this is funny; there are only five races of human on planet earth; red(Indians), white (European) yellow (Asian) black(African) and Arabs. So Ethiopians are blacks… On my several trips to Ethiopia, Eritrea, I was called African by many uneducated Ethiopians, If I ask them if they who are they ? The responded that they are abasha, lol… To them abasha is a race, so I did my research from Eritrea to Axum, and what I discover is that the word Abasha simply describe a mixture of Arabs with Africans. In 5 century the Arabs from Oman, Yemen invaded northern of Africa, powerful at that time, enslaving Africans and imposing to them Islam. And they took many women as wife. This mixture of Arabs and African brought in light skins Africans, this last one called themselves abasha (in Amharic)… But the mixture was so slander. Since then being a mixture in northern Africa was a good thing, it s normal, everybody like to belong to a master race. This behavior or believe spread all over north Africa, Somalia, Ethiopia, Djibouti Eritrea and Ethiopia. Today most uneducated Ethiopians still believe that they are better than other black people, sad but true. So this is the biggest raison why they like to date or marry they own countrymen, . Now is it a bad or good thing? From my own point of view I think is the saddest and ignorant think to do. Specially for Ethiopians or Somalians living outside of their motherland. Why!! Because the only way to stop and understand racism, apartheid, discrimination or tribalism is total mixture. Nothing to gain but loosing everything while marrying only your countrymen: one best example; Do you think if Obama father came to America and married only a Kenyan women, should we have a first black president today???? No… In short if Obama father was Ethiopian and marry Ethiopian woman, clearly he wouldn’t be president… To all Ethiopians, Somalians, Eritrean, you are loosing alot by associating, talking, dating, and marrying only within yourself… Thx to all…
Ok I am an ethiopia guy living in USA. I am going to express my opinion here. To be honest with you, when I see an ethiopian women with other race, i get mad because i feel like she is a hopeless women who i not leading a proper life. I do not consider myself either black or white. WE are just Ethiopians from a holyland with beautiful culture which is completely different from the rest of the world. I am not a racist here am just expressing whats inside of my mind. I do not date with other women except habesha. I love african people though.
Agree with this. Sorry to offend anyone (not sure who I would be offending) but I’m Ethiopian and was raised mainly in America. I only date habesha guys too. When you date outside/marry outside you lose a bit of your cultural heritage because if you were to have kids with say a white guy, your kids would be mixed and most likely would marry someone not habesha as well. That right there is where your Ethiopian line ends. Again, personal opinion, but I only date habesha guys as well.
I am ethiopian women i will never think for a second to go out with either black or white. …..ethiopians within ethiopia am just saying
YES yes yes. We need to stick with our own. You don’t see white people running around like crazy to date other races (the ones who do are in minority), yet because we want to preserve our culture we are “snotty”. No. Ethiopians within Ethiopians
I respect your opinion, but the purpose of my post was actually to say people shouldn’t automatically assume that Ethiopians will only date Ethiopians. While cultural preservation may be what you are saying, which I completely respect, I am just saying it should be acceptable to date outside of our culture as well.
I am an African American male and I am currently dating an Ethiopian American woman. We have some cultural difference but we are both good people! Of course it’s easier to date people who are familiar with everything about your culture. It’s also cool to learn new things. Good and evil is in every culture. There are
Ethiopian, African American, Asian etc people who I would never date due to their lack of ambition, behavior, and overall outlook on life! This was a good read. Some of the comments were legitimate. Other comments reflected ignorance. Interesting blog.
If I may be allowed to do so, I would love to share a few heartfelt thoughts regarding this site. What I’ve seen on this page is unquestionably amazing. I am an African American male, who, for the past 27 years has seen the nefarious and egregious crimes caused by the European Colonization machine. Over the years I have interacted with many Black people from every conceivable corner of this globe and I am honored to say we are so amazing in so many regards. Being an African American born on U.S. soil, I will attempt, to the best of my ability, to generate useful, friendly conversations that builds bridges rather than tears down walls. My most recent research has me very interested in Ethiopian culture in so many regards. You truly are an amazing people. I se so many blogs that suggest Ethi’s/Eri”s are clannish and don’t want outsiders entering their camps. Without saying my age, let me tell you that many African Americans in the bigger cities have treated Caribbean and African black so poorly in the 70s and 80s I can almost understand why other non AA blacks might not have the greatest opinion of us. Well my job and my charter is to correct this to the painfully infinitesimal degree that I can. Cutting to the quick, I recently befriended a beautiful young Ethiopian lady. I would be more than lying if I said her appearance was not earth shattering. She is one of the most beautiful woman I’ve even looked upon. But that quickly took a back seat to her intellect, demeanor, and person. I can honestly say I really don’t look at her “like that.” I truly adore her on so many levels. But here is where the tricky part lies. I see so many negative posts saying Ethi/Eri’s are like this and like that. Well the truth is “All People Are Like This.” I have no idea if there is any chance for romance in this regard, but I know this, If I fell in love with such a person, I wouldn’t be that worried about external pressures because her entire circle would know how loved and adored she is. I am a well degreed, well careered, well-meaning person that will let no one, but God judge me.
me’elkam ken yihunilachehu
Blakthought….well said!! I could’t agree more…your post is right to the point. I have met good and people from all the races…those who generalize and judge by the race are nothing but ignorants….
Love is all I have for the great Ethiopian and Eritrean culture.
I am glad that I married one of your sisters. My grand mom is
a little racist but my konjo wife made her change.
Love you mimi
Well am Ethiopian and all I can say is that is people are free to be with who they want to be with…personally not attracted to African American men but if some habesha girls want to date them then so be it. The say way if alot of Ethiopian men want to date and marry Latin or white women that’s their problem.
Betty you’re not attracted to African American men main because you haven’t met me…lol
I like that you expressed your own opinions here. But we are not snotty for wanting to stick with our own. Our culture, people and blood is our own and there is nothing wrong with being proud of that and wanting to preserve it. And as far as I see, the majority of habeshas want to marry within their own, so not really a stereotype as much as a fact there. From one Ethiopian girl to another, habeshas for habeshas
So if a mutual understanding of how culture is “back home” is already established, do Ethiopian men care to date other African women (generally speaking)?
Great question!! , Any of the fellas care to chime in?
In my opinion, I think they are willing to date other African. Everyone is open in my opinion, especially those that are considered to be Ethiopian American.
Hello
It is accepted reality that Ethiopians prefer to marry other Ethiopians. Just like blacks prefer to marry blacks, whites to whites. By the way, Ethiopians are black.. To be truthful.. Ethiopians are the second oldest populations in the world. The first is the Sans.
I find disturbing that we are always remarked by whites , that we are have white features or not black or Semite.1.we are genotypicallyblack. 2 phenotype doesn’t define race: genotype. Of course some of our features are similar to thier. Out of Africa explains that , m and migrations. 3. Semitic is language classification not a race. By the way,scientist have determined that Ethiopia is mother of Semitic language, easy to figure out since they have the most. Sorry the Amhara didn’t migrate from south Saudia peninsula. I am part Amhara. I find it fascinating that whenever we discussed Ethiopian interracial dating, there is always a white guy that supposedly dating some Habesha girl; her family is not crazy about it; but thank God it is not African American. It is old divide and conquer whites have perfected. We have seen it in many former european colonies in Africa. Funny
It is whites that are coming to ethiopia , prostituting our women, and children, spreading disease and hiv. Not African Americans. Yet we complained that African american try to talk to our women ; no complaints about whites adopting our future generation like animal pound see daily at bole airport. How that white couple killed our daughter. We don’t complain about things which matter to our people. We are too busy embracing whites, shame on us .
Zeleka quit crying and blaming other races for your problems. Many Ethiopian girls that come to America mix with white guys. Deal with it. Me and my Habesha girl plan on starting a family next summer and our kids will be half Anglo Saxon and Half Ethiopian. We’re happy and not concerned what bigoted and angry people think about our family.
Americana. Smh bigoted? Lol
Salam Wow great post! I agree one hundred percent! Question for you are you in America? I was with a Eritrean for almost five years and ultimately that is why we are not together. If you have a Facebook add me It would be interesting to know your world views. And again you are spot on with your comment!
We need to get our priorities together.
Americana
You are the definition of ignorance is bliss. Evidently scope of what I wrote escapes your anenceplic mind. So your response is one that I am crying. Listen, you cannot debate on what I say or deny it. Thus I am crying. Your logic is warped. I am sure by your writing and usage of your mother tongue, English… You are uneducated.. If you are educated ..the setting was a classroom shared by your ma and pa. If you knew anything about Habesha culture..you would be know that Habesha , that meaning Ethiopian, women don’t usually marry outside their culture. To say that Ethiopian women come to mix with white guys here.. Is to imply they are very low caliber and insulting to them, and your claimed Ethiopian fiancée. This assumption of yours about Ethiopian women is surely based from your Ethiopian fiancée; thus by your own words , Americana you are not marrying Habesha woman which represent the quality and character of our women. If you truly have a Ethiopian fiancée, I am sure by your asinine view of Ethiopian women, she had the character of a bole bar lady. But it is more realistic to assume that she is fictional , just like your intelligence.
Ethiopians come here for the educational and economic opportunities .
Zeleka
I didn’t say Ethiopian women come to America for the purpose of mixing with whites. But many Ethiopian girls do end up dating white guys. I live in Washington DC where there is a huge Ethiopian population. Some areas even have store signs in amharic.
I want whomever that may be reading these comments to look at the mean spirited and hateful personal attacks that have been launched against my Habesha girl and myself simply for being together. There will always be sad, judgemental and hateful people in the world but don’t let their rancor and insecurities influence whom you love or decide to spend your life with.
Because of my line of work I have developed strong friendships with many Ethiopian men and women over the years here in DC. Ethiopia will always be special to me because of that. Live how you want and love who you want. Your tomorrow belongs to you, nobody else.
Sorry for errors. English is not my mother tongue
Ethiopianamericangirl appreciates all the comments, especially on this topic. I will write more on this topic to help address some of these issues. Your comments and thoughts are greatly appreciated. Let’s just keep it all respectful and tasteful. The one thing I have found in my EthiopianAmerican experience is that each individual has a different opinion and a different experience in life. our experiences help shape those opinions. One EthiopianAmerican may feel one way (that they don’t mind dating or marrying outside of their culture) While another EthiopianAmerican may chose to date within his or her culture. Sometimes, you just can’t help who you fall in love with. That doesn’t make any one less or more intelligent, it simply is a reflection of that individuals experiences. While EthiopianAmericanGirl appreciates the comments let’s just remember this is all opinion and no one is forcing their views on others.
Keeping reading and commenting !!
I am Ethio American born and raised in Washington DC (DMV). I was adopted by black american family. I was raised as strictly an black american but as I became adult I realized how proud I am to be habasha. I myself believe you can marry who you want, but I prefer to marry Habesha.
Quality is hard to obtain, and a quality Ethiopian woman will prove this to be an understatement. But it can be done, you just got to know what you are doing. It is said that an Ethiopian woman can smell bullshit from a mile away. Look into her eyes and she will read your soul within the amount of time that it takes you to say “Hello, my name is_____”. Also, using your silver tongue will always get you a “no” answer as she will think of you as a playboy, plus if you are saying it, she has probably already heard it before. Be unique. Be a gentlemen. Show your true character. Let her see your sincerity, but don’t overwhelm her the first time you introduce yourself. Let her know that you noticed her there last week, but you were hosting your friend’s birthday party and thought it would be rude to leave the party to speak with her. Do not offer your phone number. Don’t ask for her number, if she wants you have it, you will not have to ask. Plus, this will let her know that you don’t just offer your number to any and every girl you meet. She will not only notice this, but will credit you a few points . Instead, let her know that you have an early meeting tomorrow and that it was nice meeting her there. Let her know that you are a regular in that place on Wednesdays and hope to see her there again. Shake hands with both her and her friend, say “goodnight, enjoy!” as you are leaving. On your way out, pay for their next drink and have the waitress say to them; “Compliments of the cute gentlemen you were just talking to” Now, go research slamming Ethiopian Concert dates being held two months ahead. Purchase three tickets, yes three…..don’t be cheap, you will be rewarded in the end. Place the tickets in your dress pocket each time you visit the place you met her on Wednesdays. And no, not the pants pockets, don’t want the tickets to get wrinkled. Next time you see her there, Re-introduce yourself, although she may remember you. Politely ask to join them. Keep things positive and fun. Two or three drinks only, order some food that you all can share together. Then afterwards, say to her “I am interested in trying Ethiopian food, would you and your friend join me for a meal, and a Ethiopian concert as you show her the tickets, tell her that you thought of her when you seen the advert. for the concert in the newspaper. Now you know why you purchased three tickets instead of only two as you have just increased your chances of a “yes” by 100%. Trust me, she will not only appreciate that you thought about her, but will feel completely comfortable knowing her BFF will be joining the two of you. Finally, after you say goodbye to both of them, this time with a kiss on the cheek, start to walk away, then turn around and say; “Oh! almost forgot, here is how you can contact me” handing her a business card with your best, most sincere smile, not a number on a pcs of paper or napkin, this is 2015 already. Again, do not ask for her number. Pause as she reads your card. At this point she may or may not give you her info. If not, simply smile and say; ciao……ciao……to both of them. As you are walking out, tell your favorite, most trusted waitress as you hand her a $20 tip to leave your tab open, you will settle tomorrow after work, and to immediately let your potential girl and her BFF know that “tonight’s tab is on the handsome gentlemen who just left, can I get you girls another drink?” Guaranteed call coming your way, just be patient.
interesting perspective.
Americana
Definitely understand what you are saying. Here is the problem..you have wrote the most insulting statement about the woman of my country on this blog. Now you deny even writing it. You are unbelievable. And to top it off.. So you say I am bigot calling you out on it. I am bigot for telling how some whites are coming and do things in my I said earlier.. Not African Americans . Things in which can not deny or argue as being true facts. your habesha friends. Look up the meaning of bigot. Now you tell me how you have close relationship with my people. Classic. You insult my people, same time call your fiancée and my sisters of being woman of very low character ; but in the next sentence you are close to them and love them. Sounds like the classic backtrack excuse” Not me , some of my best friends are black. Lol. Just substitute Ethiopians for black in the same sentence. Same context. Then your classic attempt to divide us from our African American brothers and sisters with the childish ploy.. Her family is at least glad gave that she ( fiancée) is not dating African Americans. You are worse than a racist… For at least they don’t hide behind pretense. Like you do. You smile in your ethiopian friends faces, eat injera, drink buna and even try to endear yourself to them by trying to speak Amharic or try to dance… Yet you write that bs , revealing who you really… You are a jackal. Worse than racist .
I have lived in DC, there is small number of ethiopians who date out their race compared to the population .
yEnglish is not my first language, but I can surely comprehend what you wrote” ethiopian girls come to America to mix with white guys”. So spare me and others this denial. Either you have a borderline personality disorder or compulsive liar. Either way there is something wrong with your brain circuitry.
Spare me and other habesha reading your reply..this is kumbiya ( kumbaya) teach the world to sing in perfect harmony bs coverup after the fact. It is insulting.
Be a man and either stick by what you wrote or apologize. I really don’t care who someone dates. But I detest jackals and pity the habesha you call friends and fiancée.
I’m not going to argue on the Internet with an illiterate racist who blames white people for aids in Africa. You’re just mad that white guys are mixing with ‘your’ women. My girl told me long ago that alot of Ethiopian guys don’t like ‘their’ women to date white guys. I get it. We’ve received dirty looks from some folks at Abyssinian Restaurant when we go there. But we don’t care. Out of respect to the owners of this website I have not said many of the things I would like to have said. You keep hating and I’ll keep hangin’ with Konjo girl. Grow up. It’s 2015 people mix now. This is ridiculous.
now I am racist. Illiterate too. Lol. I have shown I have mastery of your language morethan you. Once again you dodge me, be a man. I really don’t care about you and your girl. You are incredibly ignorant. You don’t get it. You are waste of my time. You are proven idiot and jackal. You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. enough of my time.
Your initial comments on this site were racially insensitive and inflammatory claiming that white people are spreading AIDS in Africa. How about providing sources or evidence to back up your ridiculous and outrageous claims? You make statements claiming solidarity with what you describe as your “African brothers and sisters” while asserting kinship of some sort with Ethiopians. Ethiopian people do not describe themselves as African. They describe themselves as Ethiopian! There is a strong nationalism amongst Ethiopian people that is different than so many other countries in Africa. You clearly display no knowledge or understanding of this. You arrived at this site ‘guns blazing’ and bitter because there’s not a Habesha girl anywhere who wants anything to do with you. I’ve read all of these posts to my girl and we’re both quite embarrassed for you.
Google is your friend. Google it under ethiopian sex tourism, child prostitute in ethiopia. Easy to find even for u. If you read your girlfriend your posts, either she is epitome of the low caliber habesha woman you wrote about or she is imaginary. Oh yeah, you didn’t write it( your dishonesty is pathological )
All Africans are nationalistic. Think! use that empty space in skull for something other than open space to be rent or a vacuum. In country which the population is predominantly homogenous population they define themselves by country of origin , ethnicity or tribal heritage. If you ask a European how he or she classify themselves .. Answer French, Italian, etc. guess what Europe is predominantly occupied by homogenous population ( whites). If you ask west African man what he is.. Most of the time he will say.Nigerian, Liberian, etc. simple sociology. Yes we are proud of not being colonized by whites.. Yes we love our culture. Yet to say we are not Africans.. Is your arrogant in defining you know none thing. Pay attention..
In my first post , I brought up the genetics. Look up L1, L2 and L3 genetics. Ethiopian are share the greatest calves of Y chromosome phlogeny with the oldest population of Africans , Khoisan . Also Ethiopian when it comes to African mitochondrial DNA linkage disequilibrium it falls in African linkage disequilibrium .so we are the second oldest African population.. The sans are the first. The sans originally came from east Africa. Thus once again , you make it exceptionally easy to prove how uneducated and truly ignorant you are. You are idiot without equal. Oh yeah.. My own women don’t want me.. ( rolled eyes). Didn’t see that coming. To be honest, I find you boring, predictable and trite. You are living proof to Carlin said we cut education, we’ll be so stacked with idiots. I wish u good luck …for it is obvious your brains won’t take you out of a bathroom stall.. but perhaps luck will intervene somewhat
Zeleka you make great points. I wouldn’t waste your time with esau. He will never understand.
I see we have solidarity amongst the machete weilders.
That’s not the way it works. If you make claims you must back them up. We have deliberation in my country and solve most things through fact finding. Not a machete like they do in the hell hole you came from. Sex tourism isn’t unique to Africa. Back to the original point. My experience with Ethiopian girls has shown me that if they date outside their own culture then they prefer to date white guys (me). Rather than other Africans (you).Ethiopian girls want nothing to do with you Zeleka because you are on the bottom rung of society. That is why you are so bitter. Get a job and get the chip off your shoulder and quit wishing you were the caliber of man that could land a Habesha girl. They don’t date losers.
Dear Zeleka and Americana,
I see you are both very passionate about your opinions. I would like to repeat my prior precautions, this forum is strictly for sharing unbiased opinion about our various cultural experiences in a respectful and amicable manner. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. Those opinions are a result of your life experiences. This forum was created to share my experiences as an Ethiopian born and raised in America. If you choose not to respect that forum and the very specific and unique content that is shared here, I would ask that you take this conversation elsewhere.
Respectfully,
EthiopianAmericanGirl
Ethiopianamericangirl
You are correct. I apologize for allowing myself to get sucked into and responding to personal name calling. I consider the matter closed. I thought this thread was long gone until recently when I got an email notification. I have enjoyed reading some responses here. I stumbled onto this website years ago.
After having two serious relationships with Ethiopian girls I have a somewhat unique perspective about the rewards and challenges associated with intercultural relationships. Not the least of which is the communication issues, and anger that the relationship brings out in people from time to time. If I have something productive to add, then I will.
Peace
Hi Ethiopianamericangirl
my apologies to you. For I was about to address the once again ignorance of Americana racist comment ( machete welder?) but realized it would futile to continue to communicate with such a person. Funny I am Habesha , yet he claims to know about my people and my culture. It is this audacity which humor me at first, became a sad reminder how blessed I really am. Thus out of respect for you, I will not address or reply to Americana futhermore. I wish you well.
I want you all to know this one thought. BlackThought rejects all negative thoughts about cross cultures. We are all people and we must love each other. I am from Brooklyn and I’m gonna destroy this mindset if some of you guys will assist me. We can all be friends under the universal banner of love. It’s so much easier to say “I love you”…than to hate any one. Family……guess what? I love all of you.
These stereotypes hurt my heart. I’ve seen many similar threads like this over the past year. If I believed and bought into this nonsense I would have never met the most wonderful Ethiopian woman on earth. I adore this woman with every fiber of my being. She is my friend and I truly care for her. She taught me to never look at the negatives in life and only the positive. At the end of the day people are most comfortable with the familiar, but we are also more alike than we are different. As a Black American I do think that there is a level of research, exploration and patience you must have to interact with an Ethiopian love interest. People make a huge deal about this, but I can’t tell you how many Black American women and I have not made it………..same culture…..same upbringing……and cataclysmic failure. Ethiopiangirl…………..thank you for your spirit sister. Betam Amasegenalhugn
That’s exactly right. Patience, research, exploration. These aren’t western woman. There has to be a personal investment in time and understanding of an Ethiopian woman to gain her trust and companionship.
Americana…as an African-American male it pains me to my heart to know how badly the collective world views us. All we are good at is “Running and Rapping” it would seem. Many ethnic groups outside of the so-called “African-American Sphere” look down on us. While my intention is not to spread a cathartic message of doom and despair, it is one that hopefully builds bridges.
The Ethiopians interact with will tell you first and foremost I don’t see them as a different ethnic group. I see them as humans. The same way I love an Ethiopian woman is the same way I would love an American woman, a Cuban woman, a Russian woman, a Somali woman. When stepping into a different culture, I believe that a function of loving them is respecting their culture. I have found by taking time to learn a little language and culture will take you far. Aside from gaining point with any woman…isn’t haven’t some global knowledge worth it…..even if you aren’t pursuing someone.
I don’t know if my words amount to much or if they can or ever will, but my singular goal is to end discussion like this………….by having discussion like this. God loves all of us and He alone will be our final judge.
Melkim edil
@Blakthought……I admire you for the taking a stand against ignorance and those who may try to further separate us as human beings. I also admire the passion you have expressed towards your friend and soul mate. Ethiopia as a country is so diverse. One really needs to spend some time in Ethiopia to gain understanding and appreciation towards the people and it’s culture.
The greatest blessing I have received is my Ethiopian wife. She is my left rib. She is my best friend and my strength when I am weak. And she is the greatest mother our son could have. Was it easy getting to this stage of our relationship??? No! Because you are going to have to deal with each others’ personality, culture, likes and dislikes amongst other things. Anything that is worth having is not easily obtainable and if it was easily obtained, it will more than likely not grow in to that which never stops growing.
Life is short, and we never really understand this until we are faced with an life threatening illness or the lost of someone we really love and care for. But after the pain of that illness or lost has subsided we tend to go back to wasting time worrying about negative things caused by ignorant negativity filled people. I guess what I am trying to say is; Just focus on the joys of life, and if something negative come your way, then quickly dismiss it and move on to the positives. Live life like it is supposed to be lived by being thankful for our blessings while encouraging those who may not yet understand the true meaning of life.
I haven’t tried dating ethiopian’s but glad you shared this article.
Howdy! I found your blog today while googling an old flame who once told me that I should marry an Ethiopian woman. It seems creepy to date someone exclusively based on ethnic or national background, so I’ve generally tried to ignore that advice (it also seems likely to strain a relationship if someone becomes aware they’re there partially on a just-so similar ex’s recommendation, I don’t know). The thing is that I’ve had a pretty bad run of it lately and it’s become tempting to think more than an unfulfillable fantasy motivated her suggestion, that she knows something about me and her culture which she thinks would mesh.
I’ll be reading through your posts to try and find an answer to my line of questions, but they’re mainly this: is there a setting in which Ethiopian (and Eritrean) people congregate and that an American outsider could mingle organically, and is this even an appropriate way to think? I’m picturing a charity or some cultural quirk that leads to a common activity like bowling or mountain climbing (I come from Finnish stock, we’re all about saunas and vodka). I’ve thought about attending a local Tewahedo church, but that seems exploitative (and disrespectful of the institution and of God himself if he cares).
Hope you’re having a good day!